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Photo Album 04:54
Flippin through the pictures of me My life surmised it’s dark and ugly I just feel like I’m bound for nothing No trust no love I’m way too bloody Against a fence And I’ve been sunken in this couch I guess for weeks or maybe even less I have nothing left to lose So they will move and you will stay The afterlife Seattle rain It’s getting harder every single day You’ll make new friends and settle in Or cry alone like we were kids It all depends on how your life will end There’s a devil in my life And he’s crawling all up my spine To whisper into my ear so loud and clear That I haven’t got much time There’s an angel by my side With the devil in his sights But the devil looks on And sees he’s not that strong So he crushes him every time So I’m giving him ammunition Like a soldier on a mission Straight to the bottom we go Yeh and even when I’m back home It’s like I’m the last one who even wants to hangout anymore Yeh we all got lives But they will end And it’s my life I will amend But until then Ive got nothing left to loose
Fine 02:52
Been locked away for the summer But im much stronger now that ive got out (i think this cage ill sell) I was feeling like a recluse Closed in like my gap tooth When i was pushed down They said “oh you’ll be just fine” Don’t tell, me how we’re being way too loud Cause we’ll never ever ever turn it down If there’s one thing that I’m good at It’s to retrace from where I began I got sass, class and pride But I won’t cry anymore I’ll meditate right on this floor And get on pages made for people with my mind
Where’s your honesty honestly and do you Even care about my life I know I’m real self-centered sometimes Where’s your sincerity when you stare at me Im peeling off impatiently It shouldn’t be that hard to see No Nah nah nah nah nah And I hate to tell you that I’m okay It makes me feel like Im part of a cult following Chanting mantras and sticking to a script Oh yes fearless leader I am beneath you yeh I don’t buy that shit So hey! (HEY!) I’m not here for salvation No way! You only spew misinformation Hey hey!! The trust we had is an invasion Of my mind, my time I wish I could just rewind Let’s make a scene just you and me I was never asking for more than your company a friend by my side And in this apartment I feel alive I’m greeted by the tile floor and it’s so cold oh it’s so cold I don’t really think you wanna work this out So how bout we drag this on for hours and hours So I’ll melt into the floor of this apartment for now Oh for now And ever it’s sucks But you act like you’re so damn cool It makes me hate you but I just like the company a friend by my side And in this hard and trying time It makes two to toe that line
This sucks Can I go back to where I messed up so I don’t have to cut my hair and change the way that I dress Was it ever to impress to feel blessed or just keep me depressed Yeh They won I was a soldier with a ray gun Sent to devastate oh no no no Everything in my way oh no no no Talk again, I will never talk again I won’t say a word until I know what is happening And if they’re gonna let me win Will they ever let me win? Be the same, I will never be the same I will pack my bags and forever I will leave this place Unless they let me win Will they ever let me win? So It’s done cut my hair so I won’t recognize my face when I look into the mirror I won’t be complacent With that poisonous high school mentality oh no no no I set on a self destructive path completely littered in drugs and self medication I Started hanging out with friends that only like me half the time They won’t take me seriously Cause they’ve seen it before and they know what it means I’m in the back dressed in black I’m not making a scene I’ll disappear into the walls so easily
Take a breath Watch your step Cause it pays to live “And then!” Recollect all these bodies Trinkets tapes and photos of me When i was young I didn’t know how i could live without it I cant talk right now My hands are trembling All i want is time to think about some things I need the attention of everyone in the room Show me your most painful memory Show me what angers you Ball up your fist show me why you exist Fight back Don’t be defined by the cuts on your wrist, go I was crying at colors on a screen and from the tv i heard her speak to me I cant talk right now My hands are trembling All i want is time to think about some things Her voice is like no other Hear her speak it sounds like thunder Crush my world and make me smothered Love your friends and call your mother
Five Years 04:12
They underestimated me I tried to sneak out through the window to feel something It’s in the park that’s not too far (It’s in my blood it’s in my heart) I sit and brew behind the liquor store GANG NO MORE! I’m in my car to try and figure things out And The music almost drowns what cuts like razors Even 5 years later I’m in over my head yes you read me like a book But there’s no comfort in knowing you’re not understood And it’s a long way back to my house But you’re never coming around Nah The worlds giving bad vibrations Looking for the answers in your cremation You’d think it would hurt no not even a little bit I’ll put on my thick skin I could never give a shit This is my eraser to pain for feeling like a doormat Bleak ass outlook what would you call that Dead kid makes it I could orchestrate it if you let me
Case closed now you know what i know And it hurts to say that it’s so We would have been better as strangers But we crushed it and watched it explode Case closed Case closed closed closed Just Keep your mouth shut With your fuckin clean cut Perfect little hair that you stole from somebody else Cause without you it’s a clear view So never ever roll through And keep all of your bad ideas to yourself Yes i am the god That is judging you And you think you’ve won But you will never follow through I’ve spent a whole year waiting Just to make me always feel abused And I read the messages that ya sent Bet you never thought that i’d read them Goodbye get to leavin And i feel like we were losing our grip I couldn’t bare to look into your soulless eyes again It’s like looking straight at satan I wanted to turn off the world Make it all dark To make me feel safe but I was the planet, everburning everchanging now so Say what you want I’m not listening No need to front I know everything Its all i got to keep me sane Its all i got I went to my old house to see if it’s the same I guess they took the trees out but left on the paint And it’s a weird new world that im livin in and I like it And I called your number to see if it’s the same I remember it by heart but I’m glad it didn’t ring And it’s a weird new world that im livin in and I like it
Not That Bad 03:22
Just think about this for a second now Don’t be too rash and start moving out Cause friends are friends and you’ll leave loose ends if you’re too quick That’s not a threat that’s a joke you see We all just want you to be happy So put a smile on cause you’re moving on to bigger and better things But don’t you know it’s not that bad No it’s not that bad Yeh it’s not that bad unless you’re leaving Everyone is leaving Cause it’s the face you make when People start to crowd in a room A bed you lay in Welcomed to the legion of doom Test your patience In hopes that you won’t follow through And I know you x2 It’s not that bad Though it makes me sad You can always come back Instead of leaving
19 Stars 05:07
Let go Maybe it’ll happen next fall Sucks to say And it’s overwhelming so i’ll keep counting the stars up on your the ceiling Another day Nah nah nah Its like the world has turned its back And i’m wading in the past So throw me a line And say that i’m fine To make me feel better To make me feel nice Say we got time and make it alright Cause i just need one good sign They shine Turn off the lights it’s like a night sky Nice to see But it’s screaming things instead of calming me I cant stay Another day In a flash yesterday i saw how it ends In a casket i laid held by men It looked like a parade And when they were lowered me in I was singing So i’m trying to be present as much as i can Tell my mother that i love her and ill see her again i want you to come over so we can make amends Ill be singing Nah nah nah
Maybe, i was late to the gate, but please Watch the whole race cause im winning this one You make me wanna carve hearts so faintly In trees hands shaking from what’s going on Madly in love oh I never thought I could be I never thought I would be till you came along Madly in love oh we both know we should be With your heart and my key is where i belong Oh feels like summer Oh you’re like no other Madly in love from my head to my feet I am tense I am weak From this beautiful thing We fit just like a glove oh darling don’t ya think So please don’t leave Cause things are not as they seem And we’ve come a long way from cruisin around in my 92’ Lebaron how long Till I see your face cause it will always make my heart break over it I’m over it no I can’t get over it I’m no good I swear I’m no good I got addiction to affliction And I’m constantly wishin I was there with you Oh feels like summer Oh you’re like no other So when I’m in a casket laying 6 feet down I pray it’s you that was with me to the ground My angel, inspiration That helped me everyday with love Don’t wait too long After I’m gone Cause I wrote you this song And we’ll all sing along When I’m back home


released July 9, 2021


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Graduating Life Fresno, California


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